I am reading a book right now by David Kinnaman called unchristian. The point of the book is that Christians are supposed to represent Christ to the world but unfortunately according to the research Kinnaman has done, something has gone terribly wrong. Young Americans today, when asked about their impressions of Christians, use words like these: judgmental, hypocritical, and insensitive. I HATE all three words. I am saddened that we Christ followers are thought of in this light.
One guy named Jeff in the book, when talking about the judgmental nature of Christians, said this:
"Christians talk about hating sin and loving sinners, but the way they go about things, they might as well call it what it is. They hate the sin and the sinner."
If I am being honest, I have felt the way Jeff feels many times. I mean even though I am a committed Christ follower, there have been countless occasions where I have seen the approach Christians take toward "perceived" sin and "sinners" very counterproductive. We laugh at the quote "turn or burn" but the fact is, that message has permeated our culture to such a degree that it has turned many people away from even wanting to consider Christianity as a possibility for their lives. In essence, the mindset has become, if "turning" means I will become more judgmental, hypocritical and insensitive toward people, I would rather risk burning.
There is Hope however. Kinnaman has found that even in the midst of these tough realities of being prideful and judgmental, that many of those who aren't Christ followers are still receptive to the input that we have to give. In other words, while they are repelled by rejection and an air of superiority, they are attracted to acceptance and genuine respect. The question then that needs to be answered is: What does this respect look like? Here is what Kinnaman says people want.
1. Listen to me. Talk less and listen more. That way you can understand what I really need.
2. Don't label me. Using words like "lost", "pagan", "non-believer" are not endearing at all. We are people just like you.
3. Don't be smart. Please don't act like you have all the answers. You don't! Besides, we aren't always looking for the so called "answer" as you might presume.
4. Put yourself in my place. Don't be so concerned about what I do or don't do. Try and understand where I have been and what I am going through so that you can better understand my choices.
5. Be genuine. Don't try to wedge your beliefs or your spirituality into my life on every occasion. Agendas are not something that interest me.
6. Be my friend with no other motives. Pray for me, serve me, love me...but don't do that as a scheme to achieve your desired goal. If I sense that, I am done!